Being born in a body like ours, we experience what human beings experience physical, mentally and spiritually, whether it’s pleasant or unpleasant. I consider it’s a part of the “whole package” of being a human. As infants, we came with the full spectrum of human nature without much editing or censoring. As we grew up, through all sorts of life experiences that mainly come from interacting with the others and the society, we all learned to show the parts of us that feel happy, proud and accepted, and we also learned to hide the parts of us that feel unhappy, hurt and unaccepted. Eventually we became this split being with a heavy dark shadow dragging behind of us. This shadow has all the traits and qualities that we have rejected, hidden, denied and repressed inside of us.
How we split and disempower ourselves by repressing our shadows?
From our split inner world, we project the same thing to the outer world and people around us. No matter whom we encounter in life, each one of them is just a reflection of different parts of our inner self - the joyful self, the courageous self, the critical self, the disguised self, etc. Most likely, we take in people who reflect our bright side, and we push out people who reflect our dark side, without much consciousness. The more we eulogize our “bright” self, the more we repress our “shadow” self. What we don’t realize is, we are in constant struggle of making allies and defeating enemies that eats up all our energy. No wonder we can never be satisfied with ourselves and have love for ourselves, while we are dreadfully drained from non-stopping inner conflicts that tear us up.
More importantly, at the same time, we also give away our strength and power by hiding our shadows. The fact is, behind every bit of the shadow there is some powerful strength that can be discovered and used to create and enjoy our life. For example, fear can bring more awareness and focus to us in dangerous situations to keep us safe; anger is a powerful energy that can fire up our abilities to set healthy boundaries; and sadness reminds us to slow down and tune into our sensations that promotes more compassion and connection both inwardly and outwardly. Here you can see, if we can gently and compassionately tend to our shadows, we can gracefully turn "enemies” into “allies” and transform “shadows” to “resources”.
It is a lifelong journey to integrate our split parts so we can become whole and live a life with full life force.
How to transform dark shadows to bright resources?
Here I would like to share an outline of how my work can help you to transform your shadows into powerful resources.
From a safe and protected place, we explore a shadow or area you are willing to bring light to. In general it might be some behaviors that make you feel stuck or unhealthy such as smoking or nail biting, or it might be some emotions that you don’t have easy relationship with, such as anger, shame or fear. Or it might be anything that’s holding you back in life.
Behind every behavior or emotion or issue, there are some unmet needs that are waiting to be acknowledged and nourished. By looking at those needs objectively, you gain deeper understanding toward the source of the issue; naturally compassion arises to bring healings to the shadow.
After the healing takes place, you will be empowered to recognize and harness the once “wild” energy behind the shadows and transform it into life-supporting energy, which becomes a resource for you to create changes and revolution in your life.